She was so zealously devoted until she realised who she was.

She was zealously  devoted.

Experiences are what life gives when you try something new, 90% of the time you’ll fall down “bruise yourself badly” but then you pick yourself up, holding your head high, being proud of that bruise, hurt emotions, damaged ego and say at least I have had that experience. And that is what life is all about.

What happens when you are too proud to let it be…

She was adamant that she was close to the ardent love and passion she had always unknowingly craved for, that union of souls, a friend she really knew well and got on amazingly with, a true soulmate at last, she truly wanted to be devoted.

He kept saying what she wanted to hear, giving her the advice she needed, making her believe in herself, feel loved and desired.

She was careful and had her suspicions but she kept at him, she was falling in love with who she wanted to meet, with her own thoughts of him (as he just didn’t reveal much and let her mind do all the work.) every question she asked he gave a primeministerial answer… made her feel anxious  and nervous, she liked that at the start.

He brought the best out of her, changed the direction she was heading in life, made her feel positive about her self and made her believe in herself. 

“A person only has to smile at someone or appreciate them and they can release an unlimited amount of strength and well being in that person that they never knew they had.”

This is what the attraction was all about, she for once was being kept on her toes, her interests had grown, her mind had been enlightened, she was no simpleton but would do just about anything that she was able to do just to speak to him. The respect and strength that was given to her had become an addiction, she was drawn to power as she had always been very powerful herself.

So much in common, so alike (on the same brainwave), equal pegging in many ways.

What one didn’t exceed in, the other one did. Both as equally relentless as each other, both flirting and leading each other on, it was such a good laugh.

She saw a few things that made her question the situation, she didn’t like the outrageous suggestion she read, made her feel anxious and she didn’t like questioning herself, especially when the feeling should of been mutual and natural.

All she wanted was to meet the real person, suss out if what she had thought to be real really was. 

She got frustrated and couldn’t deal with the situation anymore, but she is a determined, benevolent person after all and really desired this experience so she gave some space and had some thinking time.

She kept thinking of exciting ways to meet, from sightseeing to a day at a fair or a Jack Daniel infused steak accompanied by a bottle of Moët Chandon, she really appreciated his resilience towards her.

It would never happen, they were two worlds apart yet so near in distance, but a photo and a couple of sentences on a computer screen was all she’d ever get. 

That didn’t deter her one bit, she still craved her happy ending, the one she desired and craved for, or did she? Did she really want to be devoted to someone?

Was it the respect and the way he made her feel so important that she really yearned for, to be treated as someone important, useful, mature…

Her wisdom kept growing, the real lady was appearing, the highfalutin business woman was being promulgated, at last, it felt so good, amazing.

She then realised that she was helping him out more than friends normally do, (she woke up) he started speaking to her as if he owned her or she should of been grateful to him for allowing her to help him, and realised that he started arguing and not giving her much thanks or being the nice person she had known from the start.

She realised she deserved better, where was the respect and thankfulness they shared at the beginning…

He spoke to her like many did, a simpleton and that she was not, how dare he… 

That was the end of that.

She told me that she honestly believes he is an honourable gentleman but the way he is just doesn’t suit her requirements, my response to her was that he should of been brave enough to accept a change and be spontaneous.

One day he may look back on his life and he’ll realise that he actually hungered for her spontaneity and actually wanted someone to be so devoted.

She is now awaiting her next experience.